we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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