you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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