Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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