I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
