so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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