Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
