I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
