Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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