I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
