I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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