I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
