I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
