I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Quick, to the slutcave!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
