HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize