I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
