OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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