there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
