i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize