so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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