Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
