First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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