Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
