You work out of a Hotel?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
