And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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