It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
