you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
