The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
