she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
