SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
