last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
