No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
