Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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