i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
