i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
