is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
