do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
