My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
