Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
