I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
