maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
