Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Blood and glitter go together right?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
