If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
