I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
