end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize