i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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