You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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