No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
