Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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