Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
