she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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