You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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