Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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