Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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