I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
