does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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