Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
