he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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