You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
